If they put me in charge of Partnership for a Drug Free America…well, there would be a scandal because I’d be hitting the bong during my press conference with President GeeDub. But before the religious right’s horde showed up at my office I’d change their god awful advertisements.

We’ve all seen the ad where the stoned kids pull out of a drive through and run over a little kid on a bike. If I had seen that ad in high school I would have thought “Fuck the kid, if I become a stoner I’ll get a car and be able to stay out until midnight. Fuck yeah!” Not the most effective advertising.

Here’s what I’d do with my 15 second ad. I’d show this picture

Followed by this picture

Then I’d find the scariest, deepest voiced actor and have him say “Cocaine makes you ugly. Don’t do drugs!” And that’s it. That would scare the crap out of all those high schoolers, at least until they got to college and found out cocaine is fun.